I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
