what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
