The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
