Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
