College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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