Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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