I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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