His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize