I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
