I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
