Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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