bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
