my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
