fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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