Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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