summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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