Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
