Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
