His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
