I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
