fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
