I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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