So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
