Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
