shes about as inviting as chlamydia
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
