Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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