i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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