Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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