how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Pooping to opera.
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