Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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