i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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