That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I will be naked everywhere
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
