The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
not ubering you a puppy
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize