yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
drinking out of a sandbucket again
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
