Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You're a waste of cheezeits
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
