So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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