Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
God, I missed his penis.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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