I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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