I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
