we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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