i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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