that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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