Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
