It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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