Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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