Me too!
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
