Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
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I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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