none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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