am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
