Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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