where am i from again
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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