I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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