I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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