now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
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I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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