is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Welp...herpes.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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