so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Randomize
