I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Everything about him screamed your future.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Randomize
