dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize