Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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